:Tree:

I have decided, since having kids, that one of the most difficult and potentially awkward questions for new parents to have to answer is: "do you plan on having any more?"

It's not actually that the question is, in and of itself, that awkward. And it's really not an issue of whether or not I (or most parents, for that matter) have a problem answering it. It has more to do with the way in which people respond to your answer. In fact, I would argue that this is pretty well the reason any question becomes awkward: the asker's response to the askee's answer.

We're all familiar with the scenario: person approaches new parent, sees cute little baby, attempts to pinch said baby's cheeks whilst dodging the flailing attempts of the mother to block this stranger from passing now goodness-knows-what germs to their beloved little one, and after this awkward exchange occurs, the conversation ensues (I should note here that this occasionally happens with relatives and non-strangers as well, though there is generally less germ-avoidance involved in those cases). Inevitably, the question of whether or not more children are on the horizon comes up, and the parent will coincidently give their answer, only to receive a response that, most times, would be enough to wilt an oak tree. 

This seems to be the case no matter what answer the poor parent gives: the asker always seems to have a differing view on whether or not it is worthwhile to birth or not to birth, or how long you should separate your children by, or whatever it may be.

And I really have to wonder: if you are going to disagree so vehemently with the parent in question, why do you bother asking in the first place? What I mean is; if you're just looking for an opportunity to voice YOUR opinion on children and family planning, then just give your opinion, instead of hiding behind a seeming curiosity regarding someone else's family planning habits. Or, at least, make sure that when they DO voice their thoughts (after all, you asked the question), you treat it as a valid response, realizing that they likely have a good grip on their own person, at least more so than a complete stranger would.

And the point of all this?

First, to discover that I actually DO have an opinion on this...which is news to me. Huh. There's my new thing for the day.

But the real reason is this: coming up on Christmas, there's another, almost equally as awkward, similarly volatile question that floats around, causing conversational avoidance en-masse:

"Do you have a fake tree, or did you get a real one?"

Everyone has their reasons why one or the other is best, and everyone seems to have an opinion on whether or not the other person is rot regarding his or her view on this festive dead plant (or plastic shrub). Personally, I'm a huge fan of the real trees... But I currently have an artificial one up in my living room because I didn't have the time this season to go up into the hills and cut one down (yay for Canada's crown land laws!), nor did I care to spend exorbitant amounts on a pre-cut shrub that has been dead and dropping needles for three weeks already.

All this being said: it's the "family planning" question of the Christmas season. Don't deny it: you've received the dirty looks regarding your Yule-tree choices over the years. You've endured the scorn and the ridicule, and wondered whether or not it was even worth opening your mouth in answer to the question in the first place.

I say it is. Because it's you. Doesn't matter what the other people say. I love real trees. I'm a real tree guy. I'm cheating on my real tree right now by keeping a fake one in my living room. But I've come to grips with that. 

Surely, if I can be okay living with my festive shrubbery choices, you can, too?