:Fore!:

My name is Sam, and for me, golf is kryptonite.

Of course, I should say that in all honesty, I've mostly only ever (how's that for 3rd-grade English?) played mini-golf...

...as in, I've only ever been real golfing once in my life. And it was only nine holes, at that. With clubs that were likely too short for me. And no official training whatsoever.

It was an interesting experience. We (my brother and I) played the back nine holes at a local course  with a couple of guys we knew, who were actually pretty big into golf. Ben and I had never (at that time anyway) cared much fore the sport (no pun intended)...in fact, you couldn't convince me at that point in my life that it actually was a sport, much like country music isn't music...

Wait, that's my 14-year-old self speaking.

Needless to say, things change over the years (don't worry, my definition of 'sport' and 'music' are much, much, much broader, now...)

So we decided to give it a shot (no pun intended) anyway, and see how it turned out.

I'm pretty sure I broke every golf rule there is that day. 

Being new, I had no clue the different tee-off spots were gender-specific (they may not be as tight about this everywhere, but at this particular place, it was a big faux-pas. So I teed off several times from the wrong place until I was corrected.

Then, I couldn't get the swing of (again, no pun intended) hitting with the driver (I found it awkward and didn't feel like I could get control of it properly), so I did all my driving with an 8-iron.

My drives were almost always good, and I'd usually make it to the green in two shots, unless there was a water feature on the hole...in which case, I always found the drink, rather than the green.

A fair ways (okay, okay, these puns are definitely intended) in, I realized that, aside from the water, what was hurting my score was my putting. Which seemed really ridiculous to me, since all I had ever done with a golf ball (aside from playing baseball with them) was mini-putting. Seemed to me I should have been pro at that part of the game. Apparently not.

By the end of the game, I hadn't really improved on my hole-to-hole score, and ended the nine holes with a score of 99. 

My only consolation? My brother scored 111 on the same nine holes.

I haven't been since then, partly because I don't think those two guys ever wanted to be seen on  by golf course with us again, and partly because I've never had the money to give it an honest try--it's a pretty pricey game.

Maybe one day. I'd imagine, that at the very least, I'd do better than I did that time. Then again, who knows?

My name is Sam, and for me, golf is kryptonite.