:Keys:

My name is Sam, and I have actually only done this once.

It was a complete "brain fart", as they say. I had been driving since three in the morning, on my way back to Alberta from Kelowna for my then-fiancee's (now wife) graduation from college. I was in Banff, Alberta, fueling up my little, red Dodge Colt for the second leg of the journey.

At the time, in typical late-nineties/early 2000's fashion (even though it was by now the mid-2000's), I kept my keys on a lanyard. It was an easy way for me to keep track of them, with what essentially amounted to a bright red ribbon hanging off of them. 

But one thing you need to know about me: I am anal when it comes to my keys, wallet, phone, etc. I always put them back in the same spot...they never leave my hand if they aren't either in my pocket, the ignition, or that spot...and I never ever lock my house or car without first checking that I've got my keys in my hand.

So, I got out of my car, started pumping gas, and went inside to pay (unlike in BC, Alberta still allowed post-pay at some places, rather than always being pre-pay). When I came out and attempted to get into my car, I found it locked.

No problem, self! I thought, reaching into my pocket for my keys. I'll have us out of here in a jiffy! (Though, why I was talking as if my self was several different people, and why one of them used the word 'jiffy' is still a mystery to me). But then, these thoughts were quickly followed by: Oh, no, self! We have a BIG problem!, along with all the heart-dropping-to-your-feet, stomach-roiling-like-a-hurricane sensations a roller coaster fanatic could ask for (please note: none of the aforementioned 'selves' are roller coaster fanatics).

For you see, unbeknownst to me until this moment, this particular time, I had failed to check that my keys were in my hands before locking the door. They were, therefore, hanging cheerily from my ignition without a care in the world, waiting for me patiently. They weren't in any hurry.

So I ran back into the kiosk, and asked the attendant if he had a slim jim or a coat hanger I could use to jimmy my lock...he had neither. So he directed me to the phone number for the only towing company in town.

Now, the thing is, when you are the only company who provides a service in a particular town, and the town in question is the only town for miles and miles in any direction, you can charge whatever you want for the services you offer. When I called the towing company, I expected the price it currently cost  to pop a lock in Kelowna, which was about $40 (I knew this because I worked at a dealership in town...not because this had happened before). As much as I hated the idea of spending $40 I didn't really have on something like this, it had to be done.

When the trucker arrived, he took out a small wedge (it looked like a door stop), shoved it between my window and the rubber seal, slipped a slim jim into the gap, popped the lock, and began writing up the invoice for his services.

Yes, it was that fast. I'm pretty sure you can't read that sentence faster than he popped the lock.

When he handed me the invoice, I just about fell over backwards.

$70.

Yes, $70 for thirty seconds of work. I'm in the wrong business.

I paid him (obviously), and went on my way. Needless to say, I haven't made that same mistake ever again since that day.

And I've since then always carried a spare, just on the off-chance...

My name is Sam, and I have actually only done this once. Thank goodness.